Okay, I'll admit it. I complain about being Single a lot. That might even be an understatement. Countless IM conversations, tearful e-mails, you name it. Sometimes when I can actually detach myself from the situation, take a step back, I begin to wonder why I'm even upset about it. Sure, romance looks so nice in the movies. And yeah, it kills a little when you see couples walking hand-in-hand down the street. But hey, I can fly off to Rome on a moment's notice, to borrow an expression from "When Harry Met Sally." I can make huge life decisions without it really impacting anybody but myself. So, why aren't I all "I am Woman. Hear me roar!"? Why don't I live the life of a Woman with the whole world at her disposal?
Well, it dawned on me a couple of weeks ago when I got a very bad cold. Pretty minor, I know, but it really brought home things to me. I was in my room for an entire weekend: coughing, getting the chills, ordering in soup from a local deli, watching trashy TV, and sleeping it off. And as I sat at my laptop in my congested state, it hit me like a ton of bricks. There's just nobody here. Nobody there to make me a cup of tea, to take my mind off of things by making me laugh, to just sit with me while I hung out and rested. Nothing. Nobody. Yes, I have my independence... but that also means there's nobody to share my life with. And that's why it hurts. It's not the superficial things like holding hands or hugging in public that matter. It's the bigger things like comfort, care, compassion, and a human connection that make you feel like a chunk of your soul is missing.
So how do you reconcile the two different kinds of Women in your brain? How do you merge the independent Feminist with the antiquated girl, and find a happy medium? How do you just find peace so you can coast along until the time things might fall together? I'm 30 years old, and I still don't have the answer. Don't get me wrong.. I value my independence. But it sure would be nice to have someone to talk to tonight.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Ramblin' About Medical Stuff
Most people reading this (Hi John and Laura!) probably already know that I got my eyes examined today. I vlogged about it in my YouTube persona, and kept it light and chipper.
I found out today that I have some corneal scarring because my eyes don't close fully when I sleep, and they're all dried out. My doctor wants me to put in this eye ointment at night and shut my eyes closed with surgical tape. At first, I was kinda amused and thought "Hahaha I'm such a dork! This is like a night brace." But now that I think about it, I'm a little annoyed.
I've had my fair share of medical problems, although this is pretty minor in the scheme of things I've dealt with. Sometimes I think it would just be really nice to not have scars, not have to take medications, and not be of below average height.
One of my biggest fears is that there aren't any men out there who could accept that I'm different. I'm about to turn 29, and it's making me a bit emo. My life is heading towards Miss Havisham territory, and I'm not liking it very much. Things could turn around in a moment... but the interim really blows.
I found out today that I have some corneal scarring because my eyes don't close fully when I sleep, and they're all dried out. My doctor wants me to put in this eye ointment at night and shut my eyes closed with surgical tape. At first, I was kinda amused and thought "Hahaha I'm such a dork! This is like a night brace." But now that I think about it, I'm a little annoyed.
I've had my fair share of medical problems, although this is pretty minor in the scheme of things I've dealt with. Sometimes I think it would just be really nice to not have scars, not have to take medications, and not be of below average height.
One of my biggest fears is that there aren't any men out there who could accept that I'm different. I'm about to turn 29, and it's making me a bit emo. My life is heading towards Miss Havisham territory, and I'm not liking it very much. Things could turn around in a moment... but the interim really blows.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Return of the Laydee
Well, well, well!!! What do we have here? Could it be Carrie blogging? Heaven forfend!
Welcome back to my highly neglected written blog. I have abandoned it for YouTube since around the time of my last post. Now I've got a small cult following. Isn't that nuts? Contact me privately for the link to my channel, because I don't wanna broadcast it out there.
So... what have I been up to? I have done some temp work around town, I was in a very short-lived but very happy relationship, I no longer wear my hair long, I still live in this crappy podonk town, I have an iPod touch and a Pink Razr. I suppose from the sounds of it life is good.
I am looking for work and trying to be roommates with my best friend. It's pretty slow going, but I'm like George Michael... I gotta have faith. Thanks George Bush for totally rawking at your job and making this an excellent economy in which to job seek!
It's a lonely life here, but my spirits are a bit brighter now. Maybe one day things will fall into place and I'll find a job, an apartment for me and my friend, and (please please please!!!) a nice man to love. I'm gonna be 29 in a few weeks. This single shizz is getting old, my friends!
Peace out everyone. I'll write more from time to time. I've forgotten how important the written word is.
Welcome back to my highly neglected written blog. I have abandoned it for YouTube since around the time of my last post. Now I've got a small cult following. Isn't that nuts? Contact me privately for the link to my channel, because I don't wanna broadcast it out there.
So... what have I been up to? I have done some temp work around town, I was in a very short-lived but very happy relationship, I no longer wear my hair long, I still live in this crappy podonk town, I have an iPod touch and a Pink Razr. I suppose from the sounds of it life is good.
I am looking for work and trying to be roommates with my best friend. It's pretty slow going, but I'm like George Michael... I gotta have faith. Thanks George Bush for totally rawking at your job and making this an excellent economy in which to job seek!
It's a lonely life here, but my spirits are a bit brighter now. Maybe one day things will fall into place and I'll find a job, an apartment for me and my friend, and (please please please!!!) a nice man to love. I'm gonna be 29 in a few weeks. This single shizz is getting old, my friends!
Peace out everyone. I'll write more from time to time. I've forgotten how important the written word is.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Carrie Potter
Hello, blog buddies! Okay, so I'll admit it. I totally love Harry Potter. I'm not obsessed (i.e. reading/writing fan fiction, seeing first screenings of all the movies) but I do enjoy it. I got my copy of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows this morning. I was going to go pick it up at Midnight, but wasn't feeling quite that adventurous.
I really have to say I'm disappointed in all the people who have been posting spoilers and such. I have been managing to avoid anything, but Rupert Everett said something in the opening monolog of "The Friday Night" project that sounded plausible-ish. I will not post what he said, because I'm kind and don't want to spoil anyone's fun. I highly suggest others don't either. I'm not going to be anal and hide in my room reading for the next few days, but I will be staying away from the interweb until I finish. See you all soon! Enjoy, if you're reading it too! :)
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Summer Shizz
Hiya folks! Apologies once again for being such a lousy blogger. Things have been a little bit hectic the past couple of weeks. And then yesterday I got an icky bug! Is that anything like an Icky Thump? Tee hee!
I hope my fellow East Coasters have been enjoying the milder weather these days. It had been "Africa Hot", but now it's lovely outside. Do any of you have festivities planned for the 4th of July? Can't say that I do, although I'll probably watch whatever fireworks they put on here. It'll probably be quite the spectacle, as my town is kinda folksy and precious. I'll also be celebrating the fact that it will be the first anniversay of David Walliams' triumphant swim across the English Channel!
There's nothing much more terribly exciting to report "at the 'mo." My blog has received a small international following after I posted that picture of Lindsay Lohan wearing a vintage Queen t-shirt the other day. I had no idea people were so fascinated by her.
Since people are so Google-rific these days, I'll send some props out to Jenna Adorno and her adorable pattern for a Preppy Polo Shirt, that my Mom is knitting for me. Tres chic! Tres cute!
In closing... I also wanted to give some props to the USA show "Psych." The Season premiere on July 13th at 10:00 PM looks like a doozy!!! One of my fave raves from way back when, Tim Curry, will be playing a Simon Cowell-esque host of a reality talent show. Check out the video below. It looks like it's gonna be too much! Set your TiVos to stun. :)
I hope my fellow East Coasters have been enjoying the milder weather these days. It had been "Africa Hot", but now it's lovely outside. Do any of you have festivities planned for the 4th of July? Can't say that I do, although I'll probably watch whatever fireworks they put on here. It'll probably be quite the spectacle, as my town is kinda folksy and precious. I'll also be celebrating the fact that it will be the first anniversay of David Walliams' triumphant swim across the English Channel!
There's nothing much more terribly exciting to report "at the 'mo." My blog has received a small international following after I posted that picture of Lindsay Lohan wearing a vintage Queen t-shirt the other day. I had no idea people were so fascinated by her.
Since people are so Google-rific these days, I'll send some props out to Jenna Adorno and her adorable pattern for a Preppy Polo Shirt, that my Mom is knitting for me. Tres chic! Tres cute!
In closing... I also wanted to give some props to the USA show "Psych." The Season premiere on July 13th at 10:00 PM looks like a doozy!!! One of my fave raves from way back when, Tim Curry, will be playing a Simon Cowell-esque host of a reality talent show. Check out the video below. It looks like it's gonna be too much! Set your TiVos to stun. :)
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Who's That Girl?
Saw this today, and just had to post it for people to see. Kudos to this woman! Really.
I'm gonna say it. Thousands of innocent people are dying in our war, and we're fascinated by Paris Hilton. Wake up America!
I'm gonna say it. Thousands of innocent people are dying in our war, and we're fascinated by Paris Hilton. Wake up America!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
I've Returned
Hi folks! Been a stressful week here at the homestead. Apologies for not being a faithful blogger.
I'm using this humble little blog to put out a fashion APB for any of you lovely people out there on the interweb. Had brunch with the folks today, and saw a woman wearing a shirt that just made me about burst with joy. It was a Queen t-shirt from one of their tours. Queen is probably one of my favorite bands of all time. Freddie Mercury has been a hero of mine since I was about 12. It was probably a "repro", but it was definitely not something that Hot Topic is currently carrying.
It was a jersey t-shirt, and I believe I've surmised it's from their 1977-1978 tour because it's got a News of the World Robot in the middle of the "Q" in "Queen", and has a cool picture of them on the rest of the shirt. It will sort of resemble this, but the picture doesn't take up the whole shirt.
If any kind soul can find this in a Size Small for me, please contact me at my e-mail address. I'll happily reimburse you if you find it. And love you forever, of course! I know it's a long shot, but the interweb is a magical thing. :)
In related news.. it appears that although a coke-fiend, Lindsay Lohan has excellent taste in music and fashion.
I'm using this humble little blog to put out a fashion APB for any of you lovely people out there on the interweb. Had brunch with the folks today, and saw a woman wearing a shirt that just made me about burst with joy. It was a Queen t-shirt from one of their tours. Queen is probably one of my favorite bands of all time. Freddie Mercury has been a hero of mine since I was about 12. It was probably a "repro", but it was definitely not something that Hot Topic is currently carrying.
It was a jersey t-shirt, and I believe I've surmised it's from their 1977-1978 tour because it's got a News of the World Robot in the middle of the "Q" in "Queen", and has a cool picture of them on the rest of the shirt. It will sort of resemble this, but the picture doesn't take up the whole shirt.
If any kind soul can find this in a Size Small for me, please contact me at my e-mail address. I'll happily reimburse you if you find it. And love you forever, of course! I know it's a long shot, but the interweb is a magical thing. :)
In related news.. it appears that although a coke-fiend, Lindsay Lohan has excellent taste in music and fashion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)